A Better Version of Me
Thursday, June 30, 2005
I Can't Wait To Go To Nebraska Furniture Mart In The Year 2022
I 'Flixed Soylent Green last weekend after reading Jessica's recent post about the movie. Upon reading her entry, I realized that, while I had taken in various SNL spoofs of scenes from Soylent Green, I had never actually seen the movie. Well, now I have. I got a kick out of some of the action sequences and the complex (ha!) process of making soylent green, but my favorite part was the furniture. The furniture in Soylent Green defines exquisite!

Monday, June 27, 2005
Nope, No Wires Here
I'm typing this post in my basement as I wait for my turn on the bench press thanks to my new Netgear WGU624NA wireless router. This puppy has excellent range so far, and I'm not even using the card made for it. I'm just using the Cisco Systems wireless-b card that my wife's employer supplied with her laptop. Who knows, maybe my next post will be written from my lawn chair!

U Have Got To Be Kidding Me

Al-Jazeera wants to document how easily a person can cross the border of the United States. I'll bet these guys think it's a good idea. I, on the other hand, do not. Did we allow German television stations to document how vulnerable Long Island was to U-boat attacks during the World Wars? I think not.

The Next Maytag Repairman?

Chinese businesses have their eyes on major U.S. namebrands. IBM's personal computer division has already fallen into Chinese hands. Now Unocal and Maytag appear set to become the next notches on China's belt. Is this a scary trend? I think so. I hope we never have fight a war with them, because we'll have no resources left to support the effort.

Sunday, June 26, 2005
Steppin' Into The Jam And Slammin' Like...Himself
Shaquille O'Neal earned an MBA degree on Saturday.

Way to go, Shaq. In an era where many athletes skip college altogether, he has earned an advanced degree. I'm impressed with the big fella.

Thursday, June 23, 2005
Snapping turtle bit boy's penis.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Welcome to the Jungle

We got fun 'n' games.

One Chops the Wood, the Other Does the Grunting
Maria Sharapova topped her grunting record in a recent Wimbledon match. Her latest grunt topped out at 101.2 db. That lies somewhere between factory machinery and a snow blower. Not too shabby!

Let's face it. She was in Ethiopia, not Oz.
The lions look like heroes, but they were probably just looking for a meal.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Maybe My Beloved Fried Foods Aren't So Bad After All
High-heat cooking methods such as grilling and broiling cause meat, poultry, and fish to form potentially carcinogenic chemicals

Moral of the story? Marinate, it's worth the wait!

Monday, June 20, 2005
Weapons of Mass Doritos
Saddam guards describe his Doritos habit.

I can't blame him. I can get a bit carried away with the Doritos myself.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Meep Meep!
Well, another corporate challenge season is in the books for my wife. I think she really looks forward to this time of year, because she loves to compete. She continues to impress me with her accomplishments. This year, she won the duathalon (2.4 mile run, 13.5 mile bike, 2.4 mile run). She had never won that event before. She also successfully defended her title in table tennis; didn't even lose a game! She didn't win any medals in track, but she did run a 6:17 mile. That's good enough to kick my butt anyday! She also just missed medaling in the bike race by 1.04 seconds. Damn time trials!

She can smoke me on the bike, the track and the ping pong table. However, I've still got her on the tennis court. I won our last set 6-0. Booyakasha!!

Monday, June 13, 2005
Mo Money, Mo Problems
Just when you think you have your debt under control, you realize you still have to pay your debt to society.

If America's monthly trade deficits continue at the "benign" level of 57 billion for the rest of the year, the annual 2005 deficit will top $685 billion, 11% higher than last year's record $617 deficit, and approximately 6% of GDP. On a per capita basis, that equates to about $2,300 per person, or $9,200 per family of four. That literally means that the typical American family will go $9,200 deeper into debt to the rest of the world, or almost 20% of average household annual pre-tax income. That is on top of the approximate $40,000 the typical family already owes the rest of the world. Were the trade deficit to continue at its present level for another 10 years, (an optimistic assumption given that it would require the deficit to stop growing), the typical family of four would owe approximately $150,000 to the rest of the world. If by that time interest rates were to rise to 8%, that would equate to monthly payments abroad of approximately $1,000 per household.

...Contrary to government and Wall Street propaganda, the real reason for America's trade deficit is our non-competitive economy, which results mainly from excessive taxation and regulation and lack of domestic savings. Since nothing is being done to improve this situation, and since American consumers continue to convert house price appreciation into current consumption, expect America's trade balance to continue to deteriorate, until either the housing bubble bursts or the rest of the world comes to its senses and stops financing it.

Sunday, June 12, 2005
Wish U Were Here
Local good samaritan Jonathan U lost his life last week from injuries suffered while trying to stop a purse snatching. He leaves behind a wife and an unborn daughter. Please keep his family in your thoughts. The world needs more caring people like Mr. U, and I hate to see someone like Jon lose his life at the hands of an idiot like Brad Jones.

*UPDATE* You can now make a donation online to the Jon U Good Samaritan Fund to help his unborn daughter attend college.

Thursday, June 09, 2005
Data, Baby!
Do you like to analyze data? Do you like babies? If so, you'll LOVE Trixie Update. This guy's site is amazing! He makes me want to have a kid so I can start taking data of my own! What a cool idea.

Monday, June 06, 2005
Now That's What I'm Talkin' About
Six minutes of exercise 'as good as six hours'

Too bad my wife traded our exercise bike for a trainer for her road bike. Guess I'll have to find something else to do furiously in 30 second bursts. Hmmm...

Saturday, June 04, 2005
Titties, Daddy. Titties!
So, I was in the pet food isle the other day along with another guy and his toddler son. Apparently, his son really liked kitties and the boy pointed out every picture of a kitty that he saw. Much to my amusement, the young boy had yet to realize that a "k" makes a different sound than a "t." Ah, young kids. They're always good for a smile when you least expect one.

Friday, June 03, 2005
Now Those Are Some HOT Wings!

"A range of fashion clothing for chickens has been launched by a group of designers working in Austria and Japan.

...The chicken suits come in various sizes, and had their first presentation in the Austrian pavilion of the World exhibition in Nagoya, Japan, where 20 chickens paraded a catwalk with Mozart music playing in the background."

Thursday, June 02, 2005
Beep, Beep! Who Got the Keys to the Sweep? Vrrrroooom!!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Damn, I Knew I Should've Brought My Muscle Relaxers!
Doctors had to be called to separate the bride and best man after they were caught in the act during a wedding in Croatia.

The couple were trapped together by a muscle spasm after a friend of the groom walked in on them as they had sex in the toilets.

Unable to be pulled apart, the couple had to endure a procession of wedding guests who came to see what they had been doing before doctors could turn up.

Unable to help, they had to transport the pair on a stretcher to the local hospital where she was given an injection to relax her muscles, allowing the best man to get free.

The wedding party in Varazdin, Croatia, continued after the groom announced the celebrations were to mark his divorce rather than his wedding, reported daily Slobodna Dalmacija.

I found $10 in the change slot of the self-checkout lane at the local grocery store today. I never quite know what to do when I find money. If I find it on the ground, I just keep it. Unless it's an exorbitant amount, like the time I found $300 dollars in a lady's yard while I was mowing. I that case, I asked her if she had lost any money recently. She said no. Then I went to the gas station across the street and told them I had found a rather large sum of money nearby and to let me know if anyone came by looking for it. I never heard from them, so I kept the cash.

Today, I noticed the money in the return slot as soon as I approached the counter. I checked out rather slowly, waiting for someone to come in looking for the rest of their change. That never happened. I contemplated giving the money to the cashier, but then I figured he'd just end up keeping it. So, I just took the extra change and went on my merry way.

Hey, I'm not all bad. Last week a McDonalds' cashier gave me an extra $1 in change and I gave it back to him. He seemed rather surprised that I'd do such a thing.

I do my best to look out for the greater good in life, but sometimes it's just easier to keep the money. It was only 10 bucks anyway.

Just Like the Good Ol' Days
Yankees 3
Royals 5

Let's get another one tonight boys!

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